eNilsson

Best Craigs List sales copy ever written

Who says great sales copy has to be short and direct. Here is an ad for a couch in the Bay Area that is utterly inspiring. I am dying to see a picture of this "leather couch of my dreams."

The bad news is that CraigsList doesn't have a good sense of humor and they've already pulled this posting down. Boooo!

 

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Here it is...the leather couch of your dreams. Its beige leather surfaces are in pristine condition, no rips or scuff marks to speak of. Animals domesticated or otherwise, were not allowed on it. Teenagers were only allowed only under adult supervision and with numerous scornful/reproachable looks thrown in to make them uncomfortable enough to leave the room. Moreover, despite best efforts for conjugal activity, nothing of a sexual nature has ever happened on (or sadly near) this sofa.

This sofa is in, another words, FANTASTIC shape.

But wait...there's more!

This couch originally cost over $1,300 and includes an inner spring mattress that has NEVER BEEEN slept on. That's right. No only has sexual activity never occurred ON the sofa, the bed itself has never had a hint of any such action. Let alone drooling, snoring or even breathing.

So how much does such a beautiful, exquisite, dare we say, Virginal, piece of furniture cost you?

Wait for it...

$200 obo.

That's right, OBO. Or Best Offer. So you're probably just vibrating with anticipation at this point as to exactly what could constitute a 'best offer'. Well, let me tell you.

A best offer is when someone arrives, looks at the couch, hands over an agreeable sum of money and THEN CARTS THE COUCH AWAY.

What is an agreeable sum of money?...I don't know, riddle me this Sherlock...did you notice the part where I said, THEN TAKES THE COUCH AWAY? Because if you can follow those simple instructions that agreeable sum of money can be ludicrously small, a pittance, a flippin' joke in fact. But if you show up, offer $150 and then ask me to move it for you, well, you're about $1,000.00 too short.

So, if you want the couch, if you need this couch, if you're just'a jonesing for that perfect couch to perform all sorts of debauchery on...and if YOU're willing to CART this couch away...this couch is definitely for you.

One last thing, if you can get my son to help you load it I will give you $20. That's right, if you'll get him to actually help lift the friggin couch, you win $20. I don't care if we settle for $10 on the couch and I wind up OWING you money. Just ask for the Internet deal.

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